Every swim parent has heard it. Almost every swim parent has done it. It doesn't make you a bad swim parent because you tried to coach your child. The thing that we ask is for you to recognize what coaching your child means, and for you to put the effort forth to not coach them. As I wrote in the previous post, this takes work and effort.
The obvious: On deck at practice going up to your child and giving technique advice. This you should always avoid. If you can't help yourself; stay off the pool deck during practice. Young kids have a short attention span. As coaches it is hard to get in a group of their peers. The last thing we need is for them to lose their attention because their parent has something to say. For many kids, the attention towards the coach may be gone until almost the end of practice now.
Also pretty obvious: talking to your child before the race about stroke technique or race strategy. Oh, this can get interesting. I had an 8 year old boy one time made it to Junior Olympics in the 100 IM. He is going in seeded 2nd. His parent told him that he should do a flip turn from back to breast because flip turns are faster. Oh, the anger, I held it in, and told the swimmer to ask the parent why he got DQ'd. Now I know many parents are more aware of the rules than this parent, but it does show that even if I have been coaching a kid for over a year, they will still go to the word of the parent over the word of a coach (up until about 12 or 13 years old).
Not as Obvious: Listening to the coach as they talk to them before the race, then as you walk them to the block you just continue to repeat what the coach said. Yes, it is the same message. The problem is instead of letting it set in and allow them to think about it; you have just pounded a square block into a round hole and it is stuck, and it may not have set in. When a coach says something pre-race and then the kid executes, the coach can praise them on that (despite the result of the race). This will make the swimmer feel like the way to improve skills is by listening and being dependent on their parents to remind them. If they do it wrong, then the coach can say, "What was the one thing I asked you to do?" The swimmer can then see that they must listen to the coach as no one is going to be in the pool to remind you of what the coach said. It's all a learning lesson, age group meets are learning lessons for what will better prepare the swimmer at the higher levels.
Not as Obvious: Analyzing the nights workout in the car ride home or at the dinner table. I'm not saying you can't talk about swim practice, but don't ask questions like, "How many yards did you do tonight?' or, "What did the coach tell you to work on tonight?" These are searching questions to lead into analysis of the workout. Swimmers may talk about practice at times. Some more than others, but just allow them to talk about what they want to about practice. At the end of practice on some nights I tell them a fact about practice. Things like: You did 4900 yards tonight if you didn't miss a single lap; We did a lot of underwater work, and everyone seemed to be a few yards farther by the end of practice; or that main set tonight was one of those challenging sets, and a lot of you surprised me by making it. I don't do it every night because I want to save them for those nights we do something little more than normal. Parents have told me that their kids tell them about practices, and it seems as though the end of practice facts seem to be very much reiterated to the parent.
If you find that you have done these things, that's ok. You haven't ruined your swimmer. You just want to control them in the future. You may catch yourself in the future, and that is ok also. Sometimes recognizing the problem and then fixing it as actually the best way to learn.
Some parents seriously just can't help themselves. I have heard of coaches giving advise to these parents by telling them that the pool deck at practice is bad place for them. Easy fix, make that your relax time with a book or a cup of coffee. They say that it is good for creativity and the brain to have some time in the day that you don't think of anything (Not work, not kids, not family, not chores, nothing; this is also why many people have great ideas in places like the shower where there mind is not on anything). Here is that time. In regards to swim meets, I have heard some coaches advise parents to become an official because you have to analyze every race, so it makes it harder to key in on your own swimmer. As an official, you also give back to the sport that your child enjoys. That is always a good thing.
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