Child Psychology

Now with CSSC, I am putting out monthly parent education articles. They range the spectrum of levels and issues that arise in our sport of swimming. This is one piece of the article that I wrote up and Lauren edited and added her point of view to it, so that it was more all encompassing. This article is about the child psychology aspect. This information I didn't come up with completely, but I did get some of my information through discussions with Phil Black.

          10 and under swimmers (and those as old as 13) have a desire to please those around them. This means that they tend to do things that make the adults in their lives happy. If the parent wants them to swim, then the child typically wants to swim. If a coach wants them to do well, they typically will work hard to perform better (this also depends on the athlete/coach relationship). In children who possess the desire to please (a coach/parent/teammate, etc), adults must be very encouraging and positive even during the experiences of failure and disappointment. Coaches are required to be critical, but normally in these hard times we even tend to be supportive. It is amazingly difficult for parents to hide disappointment as they want their child to succeed – this is often why some athletes fizzle out as they can't handle continuing to disappoint the adults in their lives.

The adolescent swimmer (no specific age given because it is said that it can differ by up to 5 years during/after the mental maturation of a child) begins to be motivated intrinsically – showing some autonomy and signs of taking ownership of their training habits/results. Sometimes an athlete isn’t prepared for autonomy, but he/she thinks they are ready. In this case the athlete will push against those that he/she once tried to please, as now he/she wants to do things to please him/herself. If swimming has been fun and not burdened with expectation, the swimmer’s desire to excel in the sport will prevail, whereas the swimmer who has been pressured to succeed by parents and coaches will likely retreat and have no reason to continue working/performing.

I (Kacy) coach younger swimmers in the hopes that I instill hard work and improvement not as an expectation of me and/or the parents, but as something that they want for themselves. I want to prepare the swimmer for a better senior swimming career which is the career that really matters.

I (Lauren) coach slightly older swimmers in hopes that I can guide and provide a real sense of autonomy and responsibility in the athletes I see daily. I am thankful that Kacy begins this process in the kids – the intrinsically motivated athlete is typically one who also does well in school, provides leadership by example, and can work through the disappointments to reap the long-awaited reward at the end of each season.

It can’t be easy being a parent, much less a swim parent. Take in this information and see if it can help you. We try not to be in the business of telling parents how to parent, but we do like providing information we have accumulated over the years that may provide a different perspective. Good Luck to all of you.