Self-Esteem

I always read articles about different things, and I saw one the other day that looked at the idea of self-esteem being developed of being a negative thing.

I say hum bug to that notion. I have coached too many kids with low self-esteem, and seem them transform as they developed a new self-esteem during the time I coached them. As a coach this is normally what I experience when I get these kids when they come to me.

The parent comes up to me and introduces themselves, and then explains to me that their child is joining mainly for the fitness aspect and that there isn't much interest in competing. I normally just nod my head and think to myself, that's ok for now, but we'll see what happens as we go forward. The child begins to practice, and seems to enjoy themselves at practice as they feel as though the are learning how to make swimming easier (always a big concept for me). I always talk to my groups about swim meets, and performances done at meets prior, so the swimmer kind of just sits there and listens. A small is approaching, and then I go to the swimmer and ask them they'd be interested in swimming, and they are hesitant, but many times they say ok. The parent asks how to signup and I try to walk them through the process. At the meet, the swimmer swims, and since they have No Time's it is always a good swim because it is a life-time best. They realize that I don't stress the place, but care about the effort that they put forth. The second swim meet normally follows, and the improvement normally comes, and you can see the confidence build in the swimmer, which leads to better practicing and better performances. The parent normally comes to talk to me on how their child has improved on other aspects as well, and a new sense of confidence have led them to achieve more.

Self-Esteem gives them the courage to Challenge the Impossible.

The article isn't completely off base though. I just think they swung all the way to the other side rather recognize the aspects with self-esteem that have become worse. Although Self-Esteem in kids is positive, the lack of failure is very prevalent. Parents shelter their swimmers from having opportunities to fail, and only focus on keeping it always a positive. This has developed a fear of failure in many young people. Developed by the over protection against failing. This allows for Self-Esteem to not over flow from the swimmer, but tempered by the times of failure. It is not good to win all the time. Very few can be self-driven to the point to achieve success without a loss or disappointment. Why not allow your child to deal with a loss or failure? You are there to comfort them, and help them understand that is a time to learn by evaluating your preparation. Preparation leads to good Execution, I believe John Wooden put it. If they didn't execute well, then it came from the preparation, so they must think about that one time they were running 2 miles, and they decided to walk because the coach wasn't watching because he was helping a team mate stretch out a cramp.

Kids are supposed to mess up. They are supposed to do things wrong, and be corrected. They shouldn't go through their whole childhood always just happy. In sport it is the same. We talk about the undefeated a lot, but the thing that undefeated youth team didn't learn that season was how to deal with a loss. I think it was Archie Griffin who said that the number one thing he learned from football was that after he got tackled for loss on a run, he had to get back up and be prepared to go at it again.

Self-Esteem is good to build in children in my eyes. I also believe that they need to learn to deal with failure as well. Swimming provides plenty of these times in a swimming career. The character is found in the child on how they respond to the failure, not in the success of the sport.